Sunday, March 04, 2012

The Limbaugh/Littlejohn phenomenon - Questioning our understanding of the universe

Scientists in the UK are today having to reassess their understanding of life, the universe and everything after an incident in the USA brought to the public eye the distinct and terrifying possibility of their being two Richard Littlejohns.

Rush Limbaugh is a chat show host in America.  He has outspoken views which are delivered as fact, in a way that people in the UK may be more used to reading in the Daily Mail or hearing on the BBC television programme about Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear.  A few days ago he described a twenty year old student and activist, Sandra Fluke, who was arguing for the provision of free contraception as a “slut” who “wants to be paid to have sex”.

Limbaugh, who is also outspoken on drug abuse despite paying off the US judiciary to end a drug-related criminal charge against him, also commented that Fluke was "having so much sex, it’s amazing she can still walk" and that " If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it, and I'll tell you what it is. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch."

Limbaugh, a man with no academic qualifications whatsoever has, like Littlejohn, expressed opinions as fact on scientific matters such as global warming.

A spokesman for the scientific community explained:
"There are certain things which we expect to happen with a degree of regularity, for example extreme weather, ice-ages and meteorite strikes" he said.

"The case of Littlejohn and Limbaugh is fundamentally different.  The unfathomable views shared by the two are astounding to find in a single person, let alone two.  We would only expect a person to be born with this much self-righteousness and ability to openly offend minority groups while still remaining employed and in the public eye every hundred thousand years or so"

It's not just the simultaneous existence of two people with these matching views which is baffling boffins.  Tony Rudd, an expert in sociology and evolutionary biology commented: "We see far more connecting these two specimens than simply their intolerance and bullying of minorities.  An example would be the way that their openly racist opinions are sometimes passed off as non-literal or jokes, in much same way Jim Davidson and Bernard Manning did in the 1970s.  For some reason, Littlejohn and Limbaugh manage to use the 'can't you take a joke?' or 'it's absurdity - you couldn't make it up' argument when bullying people and get away with it, whereas Manning and Davidson fell out of favour decades ago."

Limbaugh has since apologised for any offence caused when, in front of national media, he called the twenty year old student a slut and expressed his desire to watch videos of her having sex, however it did take a phone call from the President of the United States of America to convince him he might be wrong on that one.

In an even more frightening suggestion, Rudd continued: "We also see similarities between Limbaugh and Jeremy Clarkson.  The acceptance by some of the public of their views is flabbergasting. It's the sort of thing that even the little boy in The Emperor's New Clothes could see through." Rudd explained.  "Their comments are often not what they purport to be".

"The tale of The Emperor's New Clothes was penned a hundred and seventy five years ago, and the boy in the tale who broke away from the crowd was only six years old and fictional.  It's really quite extraordinary that in this day and age some people will still stand by and agree with empty cans like Limbaugh and Clarkson for fear of looking like they 'haven't got it.'"

Clarkson and Limbaugh also see eye-to-eye on Mexicans.  Limbaugh: "If we are going to start rewarding no skills and stupid people - I'm serious, let the unskilled jobs, let the kinds of jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do - let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work."
Clarkson: "Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat"

Rudd concluded "We have a long way to go, but with luck if we can't stop people paying attention to this type of uneducated, ill-informed opinion, at least we might try to understand why people are such buffoons as to pay them any credence."

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